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Editor's Desk: Let me sum up

There's been a lot going on in the world lately, so here are some briefs to help you keep up
gulf
The incoming US president wants to rename the Gulf of Mexico. Why? Feel free to insert your own theory.

One of my favourite lines from The Princess Bride is when our hero, Westley, is revived after having been mostly dead. He asks what happened while he was unconscious, and Inigo Montoya replies “Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.”

That’s a little how the world seems right now: there’s too much, so I’ll sum up.

Live by the sword, die by the sword: Anita Bryant, the face of Florida orange juice on TV in the 1970s, died last month. In 1977 she also became the face of anti-gay bigotry when she fought against a proposed bill that would have banned discrimination against gay people in the workplace and housing.

Bryant claimed her stance was inspired by her interpretation of Christian scriptures, and for a time she was championed by Christians for her anti-gay stance. However, many on the Christian right turned their backs on her when she divorced her first husband on the grounds of emotional abuse, as they refused to support a divorced woman. Irony!

Immigrant wars: The incoming US president rode a wave of anti-immigrant sentiment to the White House, but now some of the tech-bro billionaires who helped him get there are saying they need talented immigrants (mostly from India) to work for them, as Americans are too stupid and lazy to do the jobs. (Immigrants can also be made to work longer hours for less pay than Americans, but the tech-bros don’t mention this.)

45’s dyed-in-the-wool Make America Great Again supporters are firmly opposed to immigration of any kind, however, particularly when it’s immigrants who aren’t white. So it’s greed in one corner, racism in the other. May the best (?) one win.

What’s in a name? Speaking of 45, he wants to rename the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America. Why? Why not? Also, he was sentenced on Jan. 10, and will officially enter the White House as a convicted felon. It’s true: in America, anyone can become president!

Not-so-sunny ways: Justin Trudeau has resigned, so the man who has been accused of being out of touch with Canadians because of his family and upbringing looks set to be replaced as prime minister by Pierre Poilievre, who has been an MP since age 25. When he was first elected in 2004 his salary was $141,200 per year; it’s now $299,000 per year, so it’s safe to say PP doesn’t need to worry about how he’ll make rent next month.

At a rally in Sault Ste. Marie in 2023, Poilievre talked about the waitress who had served him breakfast. “Let’s say that she earns $60,000, 25 bucks an hour,” he remarked. Hmm. In 2022, the average annual income of people working in the Canadian food service industry was $21,175. Methinks Pierre needs to work on that “man of the people” thing.

Go ahead, say it: Mark Zuckerberg announced that Meta’s social media properties (including Facebook) will phase out moderation teams, allowing people to say even more awful and untrue things there than they already do. Awesome!

Fire friendly: Amid ongoing insults and threats from the soon-to-be-US-president, both Canada and Mexico have sent firefighters and equipment to battle the Los Angeles fires, because that’s the right thing to do.

Nice place, I’ll take it: Why does 45 want Greenland? According to two journalists who interviewed him for a book about his first term, a friend of 45’s pointed out Greenland on a map — where the format’s distortion makes Greenland look much bigger than it is — and 45 got excited. He told the journalists, “I said, ‘Why don’t we have that?’ And I always said: ‘Look at the size of this [Greenland]. It’s massive. That should be part of the United States.’”

Yes, 45 wants Greenland because it’s big; insert your own “Compensating much?” jokes here. He probably wants Canada for much the same reason. To which Canadians need to reply “You can just [edited due to strong language].”