You are here maze sign, stock image, no date. Photo credit: Pixabay

The Editor’s Desk: Big Brother is watching

Worried that the COVID vaccine is a covert tracking device? Don’t be; that ship has already sailed

A popular theory about the COVID-19 vaccine in some circles — ones I prefer not to frequent, as I value my grip on reality — holds that the vaccine is not just a vaccine: it’s actually a Trojan horse, under cover of which the government and/or Bill Gates of Microsoft fame will inject a microchip into people, so that their movements can be tracked.

I’m here to tell you that the theory is false. The vaccine is actually Phase Two of the plan; the tracking part has already been accomplished.

How do I know this? Exhibit A: a phone call I received on Easter Sunday, on my cellphone, from a B.C. cabinet minister. I have never corresponded directly with this person, and I have no idea how or why they would have my cellphone number, or where they might have found it. So I ask you: how did they come to have it, unless (dramatic music cue, please) I am already being tracked? The prosecution rests, your honour. Case closed.

All joking aside (and please be certain that the above is not meant to be taken seriously), finding someone’s cellphone number in this day and age is not a case for Sherlock Homes; even Insp. Clouseau could probably manage it, although there would doubtless be a lot of pratfalls before he did so. Besides, I have to ask why anyone would go to the time, trouble, and expense of inventing a vaccine to inject tracking microchips into people, when billions have already, of their own free will, embraced having their movements and actions tracked.

I refer, of course, to the handy device that many of my readers will doubtless have within easy reach of where they now sit. Indeed, some of you might be reading this on the device itself: your smartphone. In 2018, the number of smartphone users in Canada was just under 30 million; a number projected to hit 31.88 million by 2021. That means that in Canada, which has a population of 37.59 million, 84.8 per cent of the population uses a mobile device. Worldwide, it is estimated that 5.13 billion people — 66.5 per cent of the world’s population — owns one.

Given those numbers, a reasonable question would be “Why would anyone bother to inject us with a tracking chip? Most of us already carry one around voluntarily.” And it’s not just that these devices can track our movements or help locate us: they probably know more about us than some of our nearest and dearest do.

Anyone who has ever searched for a product online will know this. Go looking for a particular item or service, and almost instantly you will see ads for those items or services showing up whenever you go on the internet. Shop on Amazon, and it will not only remember what you’ve ordered but make suggestions for other things you might like. If I go on YouTube and watch a Russian Sherlock Holmes parody, the next time I’m on YouTube there will be thumbnails with Cyrillic subtitles which I assume are other Russian Sherlock Holmes parodies (for some reason, Sherlock Holmes is very popular in Russian, which baffles and delights me in equal measure), or it will suggest that I might want to watch Sherlock Holmes and the House of Fear (1945) with Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce. (I hadn’t seen the film for years, so took YouTube’s advice, and have to say “Thank you,” because it was a treat to watch it again.)

I’m not suggesting there’s anything sinister about any of this, merely showing that I hope anyone who is really worried about the “vaccine as tracking device” theory does not have a smartphone, or use YouTube, or have a social media presence; heck, it’s probably safest not to use computers or devices at all. Also, don’t use an ATM, or credit or debit cards, or go anywhere that might have surveillance cameras (which is everywhere). If you’re truly concerned about being tracked, a vaccine should be the very least of your worries.

Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter


Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Just Posted

Pharmacist Barbara Violo arranges all the empty vials of the Oxford-AstraZeneca COVID-19 vaccines that she has provided to customers at the Junction Chemist which is an independent pharmacy during the COVID-19 pandemic in Toronto, on Monday, April 19, 2021. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Nathan Denette
B.C.’s 1st vaccine-induced blood clot case detected in Interior Health

Interior Health also recorded 52 new cases of COVID-19

(Kamloops This Week file photo)
Probe into TNRD spending taken over by federal police unit

Financial Integrity Sensitive Investigations Unit is now reviewing the case

RCMP crest. (Black Press Media files)
Stolen truck found broken down on Highway 97C, Williams Lake suspect arrested near Ashcroft

A security guard first noticed the truck, and thought it looked suspicious

A woman wears a face mask and shield to curb the spread of COVID-19 while walking in North Vancouver, B.C., on Wednesday, January 6, 2021. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Darryl Dyck
57 new cases of COVID-19 in Interior Health region

Thirty people in the region are in hospital, 16 of whom are in intensive care

An alleged suspect in two Cache Creek crimes was caught on surveillance camera in April 2021,and police are hoping someone can identify him. (Photo credit: RCMP)
Alleged suspect in Cache Creek crimes caught on video

Police are hoping someone can identify man who is a suspect in two Cache Creek incidents

Protesters attempt to stop clear-cutting of old-growth trees in Fairy Creek near Port Renfrew. (Will O’Connell photo)
VIDEO: Workers, activists clash at site of Vancouver Island logging operation

Forest license holders asking for independent investigation into incident

A worker rides a bike at a B.C. Hydro substation in Vancouver, on Friday, April 16, 2021. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Darryl Dyck
BC Hydro report raises safety concerns as pandemic prompts jump in yard work

Incidents involving weekend tree trimmers, gardeners and landscapers have risen 30% since the pandemic hit

Starting Tuesday, May 11, B.C. adults born in 1981 and earlier will be able to register for a vaccine dose. (Haley Ritchie/Black Press Media)
BC adults 40+ eligible to book COVID-19 vaccinations next week

Starting Tuesday, people born in 1981 and earlier will be able to schedule their inoculation against the virus

Parks Canada and Tla-o-qui-aht Tribal Parks dig the washed up Princess M out from sand along the south shore of the Pacific Rim National Park Reserve. (Nora O’Malley photo)
Rescue attempt costs man his boat off Pacific Rim National Park Reserve

Coast Guard response questioned after volunteer responder’s speedboat capsizes in heavy swells

Al Kowalko shows off the province’s first electric school bus, running kids to three elementary and two secondary schools on the West Shore. (Zoe Ducklow/News Staff)
B.C.’s first electric school bus making the rounds in Victoria suburbs

No emissions, no fuel costs and less maintenance will offset the $750K upfront expense

Road sign on Highway 1 west of Hope warns drivers of COVID-19 essential travel road checks on the highways into the B.C. Interior. (Jessica Peters/Chilliwack Progress)
B.C. residents want travel checks at Alberta border, MLA says

Police road checks in place at highways out of Vancouver area

Victoria police say the photo they circulated of an alleged cat thief was actually a woman taking her own cat to the vet. (Black Press Media File Photo)
Photo of suspected cat thief released by Victoria police actually just woman with her pet

Police learned the she didn’t steal Penelope the cat, and was actually taking her cat to the vet

The Canadian Coast Guard icebreaker Louis S. St-Laurent sails past a iceberg in Lancaster Sound, Friday, July 11, 2008. The federal government is expected to end nearly two years of mystery today and reveal its plan to build a new, long overdue heavy icebreaker for the Canadian Coast Guard. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Jonathan Hayward
Vancouver, Quebec shipyards to each get new heavy icebreaker, cost remains a mystery

Vancouver’s Seaspan Shipyards and Quebec-based Chantier Davie will each build an icebreaker for the coast guard

Most Read