Conspiracy, stock photo, no date, Markus Winkler/Pixabay

The Editor’s Desk: Loose lips sink ships

If there was a global conspiracy about COVID-19, someone would have spilled the beans by now

Have you ever tried to keep a secret?

I don’t mean a deep, dark secret; it could be something as innocuous as being “in” on a surprise birthday party. There you are, making the plans, for Monique’s party, warning everyone not to let the cat out of the bag. It’s just a birthday party, after all, not a criminal cover-up, so no pressure, right?

But it’s just so darned easy to slip up. You’re trying to keep it a secret, but when Monique talks about how it’s her birthday on Saturday and she’s so glad it’ll just be a quiet family affair, it’s hard to keep acting normally. Then, when you say goodbye, you add “See you on Saturday” without thinking, and have to quickly improvise a very clumsy cover-up (“What I meant was …”).

I thought of this when I received an envelope addressed to the Journal, containing a lengthy (unsigned) letter and a DVD. The letter was headed “COVID-19 THE TROJAN HORSE” and was a direful warning about how the Paris Climate Accord , going “green”, and COVID-19 are really meant to unite the governments of every country into a “SINGLE, ‘WORLDWIDE TOTALITARIAN COMMUNIST GOVERNMENT’”.

The letter detailed how everyone, everywhere was going to have everything stripped away from them and be resettled in “small cubicles in high-density, multiple story [sic] buildings.” It told of how the “5G infrastructure and the Mandatory Human Micro-Chipping (Bill Gates’ vaccines) are the key components of their Artificial Intelligence surveillance system. This will enable them to monitor our every move and eventually hear everything we say anywhere we may be; they will even be able to control our physical health, as well as our minds, by manipulating our RNA/DNA. WE ARE AT WAR.

So who are we at war with? According to the letter (which had much to say about the bogus nature of COVID-19), it’s the United Nations, Centers for Disease Control, World Health Organization, World Trade Organization, National Space Agency, Massachusetts Institute of Technology, “BIG PHARMA”, and more, plus a long list of “acolytes”. Bill Gates and a consortium of multi-billionaires (unnamed) have “acquired EVERY National and International News Media worldwide”, as well as Google, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Netflix, Amazon, and even MasterCard (which gives new meaning to its slogan “For everything else, there’s MasterCard”. Who knew you could use it to purchase global domination?).

It’s a theory I’ve heard occasionally, from people who appear to have a somewhat tenuous connection with reality: that COVID-19 is a vast conspiracy between all the people and organizations above, and then some. Which brings me back around to that surprise birthday party, because if it’s almost impossible for a dozen or so people to keep a secret for a couple of weeks about Monique’s party, then ask yourself: how likely is it that every single one of the many, many people involved in this “conspiracy” is going to keep quiet, for months and years?

Monomaniacal super-villains only exist in the likes of James Bond novels, and even Blofeld had an army of henchmen, all of whom knew that he was up to something. And how does Blofeld always eventually got caught? One of those henchmen spills the beans, either through conscience or a confession. Try keeping thousands of people in hundreds of organizations around the world from saying the equivalent of “See you on Saturday” and giving the game away.

There is no worldwide conspiracy. And in answer to your question: no, I did not watch the DVD. The letter was shouty and paranoid enough, and I’m wary about putting DVDs of unknown provenance in my computer. It makes a great coaster, though, so the postage wasn’t entirely wasted.

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